Rei: Give up!
Usagi:
Never!!
Rei: [grunts loudly] Give it up! You're face is turning
red!
Usagi: [groans loudly] Not on your life!!
Together:
[straining ferociously] AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
[There is a soft knock at the door, barely audible
over the frantic moans of the contestants. Presently, Ami quietly enters
the room, her computer in her hand, and a very worried look on her face.
She then notices her friends, locked in fierce combat, and utters a
half-suppressed cry of alarm.]
Ami: Oh! What in the world are you two
doing?
[Usagi's concentration is momentarily
broken. She turns her head to her inquisitor. Rei seizes this fatal
lapse to slam Usagi's arm to the table.]
Rei: [stands up, folds her arms across
her chest, and announces triumphantly] I win.
Usagi:
Wahhhhhhhhh!? What do you mean you win? Where does it say you
win??
Rei: [leans over and looks Usagi squarely in the eye] I
win, and that's that.
Usagi: No fair!!! Ami-chan distracted
me!
Rei: Tough beans. I win.
Usagi: You
cheated!!!
Rei: I won!
[Usagi ups to Rei, and Rei ups to Usagi.
Their brows are creased in anger, and their foreheads are almost
touching...]
Ami: [calmly] Will you two please stop
it?
Usagi: Humph! Rei-chan cheated!
Rei: [mockingly] Humph!
Usagi-chan lost!
Ami: [still calm] Please?
Usagi: Cheater!
Rei: Loser!
Ami: SHUT UP, ALREADY!!!!
Rei and Usagi:
[meekly] Hmm???
Ami: Look, I don't want to interrupt a quality moment
like this, but I have some very disturbing news.
Usagi: [turns her
attention to Ami, and sits quietly on the edge of Rei's bed] What's wrong,
Ami-chan?
Rei: [sits down peacefully beside Usagi] Yeah, what's
up? You look worried.
Ami: I am. [she takes a deep breath,
and starts to explain] My computer has been out of order all day
long...
Usagi: Oh, please. Everyone has trouble with their
computers.
Rei: Sure, if there's something wrong, why not take it to
the shop? They can fix it for you.
Ami: But I already know what's
wrong with it.
Usagi: Oh? What?
Ami: It's being jammed
by forces of the Dark Kingdom.
[There is a brief silence, as Rei and Usagi
exchange glances]
Ami: But there's more: I've determined
that my computer is merely the beginning. The Dark Kingdom is planning to
take over every computer on earth!
[--Break for commercial--]
[Scene 2: The same.]
Ami: You see, the threat is quite
serious. Computers are not only used extensively by the government, law
enforcement agencies, and the military, but also by medical, and other civilian
facilities. The entire world is thus in peril. If the computers of
any of those institutions are rendered inoperative for even a brief interval,
the results could be truly catastrophic. If we don't find those
responsible for this attack, and neutralize them - quickly and completely,
the havoc the Dark Kingdom might wreak on the Earth could be
devastating.
Rei: But if your computer has already been disabled, how
can we hope to find any clues?
Ami: Fortunately, it still works
intermittently, so it's not entirely useless. Moreover, at this very
moment, Luna is attempting to discover additional leads via the computers at the
university and the public library. She should be reporting back to
us soon.
Usagi: Then let's transform now. We may have to act
quickly when she returns, so let's be prepared!
[the girls transform into their Sailor
persona]
[Scene 3: A dark and eerie underground
chamber. It is filled with computers and computer equipment. About a
dozen men are busily manning their respective terminals. Their leader,
General Dreadnought, sits at a large desk in a corner. He is studying some
reports that have just been handed him by one of his subordinates.]
Dreadnought: Well done,
Lieutenant. I shall remember your excellent work when I compile my final
report for Queen Beryl. [the young lieutenant bows, then returns to his
post. Dreadnought muses to himself] Yes, already the Earth's
computers are beginning to malfunction. It is now only a matter of
time. They are powerless to stop us. This time we shall succeed!
[laughs]
[Scene 4: The steps of the Hikawa Jinja,
where the girls are eagerly awaiting the return of Luna.]
Rei: [searching the streets] I think I
see her... yes! That's her running toward us. Come on, let's go!
[they race down the stairs]
Ami: Luna, what did you find
out?
Luna: [out of breath] I'm afraid it's not only as bad as we
thought... it's worse!
Rei: What do you
mean?
Luna: [hops onto Ami's shoulder] I discovered the Dark
Kingdom has, indeed, launched an operation to first render all of Earth's
computers inoperative, and then take them over for their own ends. Queen
Beryl has enlisted the aid of a very clever and cunning General for this
purpose. He, and a squad of specialists are hidden away somewhere, and are
carrying out their cyber offensive as we speak.
Ami: Did you find out
where this General and his men are?
Luna: Yes and no. I learned
that it is an underground bunker, but its exact location is the real
problem. It seems that they are utilizing some kind of advanced cloaking
device that renders the location "invisible".
Rei: There's no way we
can find them?
Luna: None. Sadly, there's no technology on Earth
that can be used to locate them.
Usagi: Then what can we do? We
can't just stand by and let them take over the planet!
Rei: Usagi's
right. The safety of the entire world is at stake!
Ami: Yes,
Luna. We must do something. We must at least make an effort.
Is there nothing we can do?
Luna: It may be a long shot, but just as
Queen Beryl has enlisted the aid of outside forces, so must we. I have
learned of a special Sailor, who is from a distant galaxy. She has had
experience combating this sort of foe. We must summon her to our
side, for she is our last and only hope!
Rei: How do we contact
her?
Usagi: Yeah, if she's from a distant galaxy, we can't just
pick up the phone and call her.
Luna: Ami-chan, do you have your
computer with you?
Ami: Yes, it's right here. [she produces her little,
hand computer]
Luna: Then simply enter the words "Sailor
Quasar".
Ami: Okay, I'll try... I just hope it's working. [types,
and pauses]
Rei: Does it work, Ami-chan?
Usagi: Yeah, what
happened?
Ami: [sadly] Nothing, yet.
Luna: Give it a
moment. Don't give up.
Ami: Hold on... hold on... it
worked! It accepted the data!
Luna: Now, let's wait and see if
she will respond to our request in time.
[--break for commercial--]
[Scene 5: The same. The girls wait for
long minutes. Suddenly, Sailor Quasar materializes amid an impressive -
one might even say excessive - display of billowing, pastel clouds, and
assorted, audible fanfares. She is dressed in what can only be described
as a hi-tech sailor suit, replete with bare midriff, pleated, vinyl mini-skirt,
and several curious electronic devices which are suspended - quite tastefully,
be it noted - from her designer belt. While she appears to be a year or
two younger than her hostesses, she is learned beyond her years, and obviously
the product of a civilization more advanced than that of Earth.]
Quasar: [giggles, and looks around] Hi, I'm
Sailor Quasar! Who are you?
[The girls stare at their visitor in silence for
an embarrassingly long moment]
Quasar: [at length] Helloooo???
Ami: Umm... Hi, welcome to Earth. I'm Sailor
Mercury.
Rei: Uh, likewise. I'm Sailor Mars.
Usagi: And
I'm Sailor Moon.
Quasar: Mercury, Mars, Moon...? Say, what are
you guys, a night club act, or something?
Usagi: Huh? [smiling] No,
we're Fighters for Love and Justice.
Quasar: Yeah, right. Come
on, who are you, really?
Usagi: [frowning] We're the Pretty
Soldiers! The Fighters for Love and Justice!
Quasar: [sighs]
Whatever.
Usagi: Now look here, I'm telling you, we're the Pretty
Soldiers...
Quasar: I wasn't born yesterday, you know! Hey, what
did you say your name was?
Usagi: [angrily] SAILOR MOON! FIGHTER FOR
LOVE AND JUSTICE!!!
Quasar: All right, Moonie-Baby, calm down before
you blow a fuse.
Usagi: Wah!!!!! Don't call me
"Moonie-Baby"!
[Rei, Ami, and Luna try, unsuccessfully, to
suppress their giggles]
Ami: Um, Sailor Quasar, do you know why we
summoned you?
Quasar: Oh, sure. You got yourselves into a
situation that's too much for you, and you need an expert to bail you
out.
Ami: Well... something like that, I guess. You see,
the Dark Kingdom is in the process of taking over all the
Earth's...
Quasar: [interrupting] ...all the Earth's computers.
Right?
Ami: Hmm? Yes, right.
Quasar: General
Dreadnought's your man. He's the mastermind - such as it is - of the Dark
Kingdom's Cyber Crime Division. He is assisted by a dozen or more
underlings, all of whom are competent, but not necessarily brilliant,
people. His operation is most likely being directed from an
underground bunker, which, in addition to being equipped with an impressive
array of the many tools of cyber mischief, contains all the comforts of
home. He and his minions can thus remain holed up for months, if not
years; and, owing to an admittedly ingenious cloaking device, would never be
detected by normal, external devices.
Rei: Wow! How do you
know all that?
Quasar: A piece of cake, really. A similar ploy
was tried about a hundred years ago in a nearby star system. The pattern
fits perfectly. It only remains to locate the bunker... something I can do
in a matter of minutes, with the aid of my Sailor Toolkit here [she pats an
electronic device on her belt for emphasis]
Usagi: [in a whisper]
Whatever.
[Ami, Rei, and a reluctant Usagi, huddle for a
moment]
Rei: Say, this girl is awesome! Did
you hear her analyses of our predicament... before we even told her?
Ami: I must say, she does sound quite impressive. What do you
think, Usagi?
Usagi: I think we ought to go out and get something to
eat. I'm hungry.
Rei: Always thinking of your stomach first,
aren't you, Moonie-Baby? [laughs]
Usagi: [frowns] Don't call me
Moonie-Baby!
[They break from their huddle, and begin to
address Sailor Quasar, only to discover her sitting nearby, busily - and quite
greedily - devouring a freshly-made pizza]
Ami: Excuse me, but... Hmm?
Where did she go?
Rei: [points] There she is. Hey, look at that
pizza!
Quasar: [pauses to swallow] Sorry, I don't mean to appear
impolite, but a girl works up quite an appetite after teleporting
I-don't-know-how-many light years through space. I thought I'd take the
opportunity to chow down. [giggles]
Usagi: Where'd the food come
from? I didn't see you bring it with you.
Quasar: I didn't.
I used my Quasar Power Make-Me-A-Pizza spell to create it!
Usagi:
Huh? Hey, how come I can't do that?
Rei: Will you make us one,
too? It sure smells good!
Quasar: Done! [toys for a moment
with her Sailor Toolkit, and a freshly-made pizza suddenly appears in Rei's
hands] There ya go!
Rei: Wow, thanks! Come on, Ami-chan,
let's dig in! [Ami and Rei sit down beside Sailor Quasar and start eating their
pizza]
Usagi: [meekly] What about me?
Quasar: [between
bites] What about you?
Usagi: Don't I get any? Don't I get any
delicious pizza topped with green peppers, onions, mushrooms, black olives,
green olives, and...
Quasar: Okay, okay! [another manipulation of
her electronic gadgetry quickly yields a piping hot pizza, just as requested, in
Usagi's waiting hands] There ya go, Moonie-Baby!
Usagi:
Thanks!... HEY, DON'T CALL ME MOONIE-BABY!!! [she starts to wave her arms
in the air for emphasis, forgetting for a careless moment that they are - or
were - supporting a large pizza. It falls, in an unappetizing heap, to the
ground, and is thereby rendered inedible] Wah! My
Pizza!!
Quasar: [laughs] Butterfingers!
Ami: Oh, don't worry,
Usagi-chan, you can have some of ours. [Meanwhile, Luna slowly ambles over to
the downed pizza, and carefully begins nibbling at it.]
[Scene 6: Back in Rei's room. The
television is on in the background, and the girls are watching reports from all
over the world concerning failing computer systems, and news of the resultant
chaos.]
Rei: Gee, look at that! This is worse
than we thought.
Ami: Sadly, they seem to be succeeding rather well in
their plan.
Quasar: Well, don't worry. [she removes her Sailor
Toolkit - a small electronic device - from her belt, and presses a few
buttons] It will only take a minute or two to determine the precise
location of the enemy. [waits] Just a second... I think it's coming in
now! Yes, here it is: The secret base of the Dark Kingdom is located
exactly 112.6 kilometers from here, at 12.5 degrees east of due
north.
Rei: Hmm... 112.6 kilometers... I think that would put them just
outside the city.
Ami: At 12.5 degrees east of due north... say, I
think I know where that is! It's a desolate, mountain area. I've
ridden by it on the train on several occasions.
Usagi: Then, let's
go! There's no time to waste!
[the girls exit the room posthaste]
[Scene 7: Queen Beryl's throne room.
She sits menacingly atop her cold, dismal throne - like a waiting spider in a
grotesque web. She is addressing General Dreadnought, whose image appears
on a crystal ball that floats in the air before her.]
Beryl: And what have you to report,
General?
Dreadnought: We are making excellent progress, my Queen.
Already, there is an ever-growing state of mass confusion and chaos in the
world. Our carefully planned labors have affected life at every
level: Military and law enforcement agencies everywhere will soon be
rendered inoperative; transportation systems will fail; businesses will no
longer be able to deal with everyday commerce; and entire governments will
simply cease to function in any meaningful way!
Beryl: If true,
it will be a great victory for the Dark Kingdom. If what you say, is not
true, however...
Dreadnought: [nervously] It is quite true, my Queen,
let me assure you!
Beryl: I hope so. I do not like
failure.
Dreadnought: But our plan cannot fail!
Beryl: We will
see, General, we will see. Now, return to your duties. [his image fades
quickly from her crystal ball]
[Scene 8: A barren, rocky landscape.
There are mountains in the surrounding area. The Sailors have just arrived
on the scene, and have found the entrance to the underground bunker. They
are preparing to enter it.]
Usagi: Let me go in first. If harm
is to come to anyone, let it come to me first. [the others follow behind Sailor
Moon, as she makes her way through the rocky entryway of the bunker. Soon,
they stand at the threshold of the command center itself, and can see the myriad
of electronic equipment it contains, as well as the uniformed personal operating
it. As they continue to advance cautiously, Sailor Moon stumbles on a
rock...]
Dreadnought: [looking up from his
desk] What? Who's there?!
Usagi: [her cover blown, she
advances boldly through the doorway] Sailor Moon! We are the Pretty
Soldiers, the Fighters for Love and Justice! Computers are wonderful tools
that can be used for the betterment of humanity, but you have used them for
purposes of evil and harm, and for that you will be
punished!
Dreadnought: Sailor Moon!? Quickly, attack them!! [the
General draws his sword, and his men begin to fire at the Sailors with
their laser pistols]
Usagi: Sailor Mars, use your fire spell to fry
these computers, while Sailor Mercury and I take care of the soldiers!
[the Sailors set about their mission, skillfully
using available cover to shelter themselves from the intense barrage of laser
blasts. Sailor Mars has already ignited many of the enemy computers,
Sailor Mercury casts a water spell to neutralize most of the lasermen, and
Sailor Moon now sets about taking on General Dreadnought
personally]
Dreadnought: So, we meet face-to-face,
Sailor Moon. Too bad, for you, this will be your final battle! [he
thrusts at her repeatedly with his sword]
Usagi: Nice try, General, but
you have failed. You have failed to calculate that it is not computers,
but people, who fight and win battles; for, unlike machines, people have hearts
that inspire them to fight for the good cause. You, like your machines,
have no heart; thus you can only fight for evil. [she removes her Moon
Tiara, and prepares to hurl it, but she stumbles and falls to the ground, and
the Tiara rolls harmlessly across the room] Ahhh!!!
Dreadnought:
[standing over the prone form of Sailor Moon] A pretty speech, but now,
prepare for the end, Sailor Moon! [he raises his sword]
Hahaha!!!
[Suddenly, the air about him crackles, and is
charged with a deadly electronic pulse. He cries out, and falls motionless
to the ground. Sailor Quasar steps out of the shadows, her Sailor Toolkit
in her hand]
Quasar: Close call there, huh? Lucky I
was here to zap him for you.
Usagi: You saved my life!
Quasar:
Well, what are friends for? Say, don't tell me you're still using Moon
Tiaras? Our Great-Grandmothers didn't even have things like that!
Usagi: Hmm?
Quasar: It's true, all the Magic Girls on my
planet have been fully digitized for generations. We don't use anything
but electronic spells anymore. [winks]
[-- break for commercial --]
[Scene 9: The same. The fighting has
subsided. The enemy soldiers have all been disabled, and their equipment
completely destroyed. The Sailors are a little bruised, but have otherwise
survived the battle intact. They take a moment to reflect on their
victory.]
Ami: I think that takes care of
everything. Thank goodness we stopped them when we did. Who knows
what could have happened, were they allowed to complete their
plan?
Rei: Well, they won't be using any of these computers
again!
Usagi: I think we should all thank Sailor Quasar for helping
us. Because, without her, we never could have won.
Quasar: We all
have to help each other, don't we? I'm glad I could have been of
assistance. Hey, come on, let's get back to Rei-chan's. I'll have to be leaving
soon.
Usagi: Hmm? Can't you stay a little
longer?
Quasar: I'd like to, but there are other battles to fight, on
other worlds. Each as important to them, as this was to you.
Besides, I think you have the situation well in hand now. [laughs]
[Scene 10: Back at the Hikawa Jinja.
The girls have completed their mission, and are saying their good-byes to Sailor
Quasar, who is preparing to return to her own world.]
Quasar: Well, I know I'll probably never
see any of you again, so please think of me from time-to-time, because I'll be
thinking of you. [she reaches for her Sailor Toolkit, and is entering the
code to initiate her return trip] Good-bye, everyone. Live
life well.
Usagi: No, wait!! [she rushes to Sailor Quasar, and hugs her
tightly] I'm sorry, but I couldn't let you go without thanking you again
for saving my life.
Quasar: No problem. [smiles] Farewell,
Usagi-chan.
[There is a sudden rush of multi-colored clouds,
an explosion, and then silence, as Sailor Quasar vanishes]
Usagi: [her lip quivering] Farewell...
Quasie-Baby.
[END]